The B-Team
by Alexis Raphael
Summary: Dirge, Thrust, and Ramjet are commonly known as 'Coneheads' around Decepticon HQ, but one day, Starscream gives them a new nickname, resulting in unpleasant things for the trio of pointy-headed warriors.


**B-Team**

"Thrust! Report! You're thirty-seven seconds _late_!" Starscream's screechy voice sounded over the radio and Ramjet winced.

"Sorry, commander," he said, "There's no sign of the Autobots."

"Good! Thundercracker, Skywarp and I will be there in four minutes. Starscream out!"

"No good pile of scrap metal!" Ramjet muttered.

Four minutes and forty-two seconds later, Ramjet, Dirge, and Thrust heard the roar of jet engines and Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker landed soon after.

"Why haven't you started filling the energon cubes yet?!" the SIC demanded as he brushed past the 'coneheads' with Skywarp and Thundercracker on his heels.

Ramjet resisted the urge to mention that Starscream was forty-two seconds late in favor of pointing out, "You told us not to start until you'd arrived."

"And I am here now, so commence!"

Growling, Dirge, Thrust, and Ramjet started filling energon cubes as the other three jets looked on critically.

"Come on!" Starscream said impatiently, "work faster, the Autobots will be here any minute!"

"Maybe this'd go faster if you three actually _helped_ instead of boring holes in our backs with your stares!" Ramjet shot back.

"It is scientifically impossible to damage things merely by looking at them." the SIC scoffed. "And we three have better things to do than help some second-rate jets work."

"Go stick your science up your-ahhhhhhh!" Ramjet tripped over a cord and the cube he was carrying shot into the air as he landed on his back. Before the energon cube could fall to the ground, however, Skywarp teleported over and caught it neatly. Starscream watched the little scene and snorted before saying, "Incompetence! It's obvious that these morons can't even carry an energon cube right. Skywarp, Thundercracker. I suppose we shall have to help these fools."

Five minutes later, the job was almost done when they caught sight of Optimus Prime and the other Autobots nearing the base.

"Take what we have and get out!" Starscream ordered, and they hastily transformed and retreated.

"Dirge! Why didn't you warn us of the Autobots? I told you to keep watch!" Starscream screeched over the radio as they flew.

"You never said that!" Dirge protested, "I-"

"Give it a rest, Dirge." said Ramjet in a low voice, "Yeah, we all know Starscream's a jerk, but if we fight with him, he might complain to Megatron and then we'll be in hot water for sure."

"True, true." Dirge moaned.

There was a moment of silence, then Starscream said, "You know what?"

"What?" said Thundercracker replied.

"I have a new name for the Coneheads."

"How can it be better than my name for them?" Skywarp protested; he had been the one to invent 'Coneheads.'

"They are now the B-Team."

"Wait," Thundercracker said, "Does that make us the A-Team?"

The smirk was evident in the SIC's voice as he said, "Yes."

"Great. As if 'Coneheads' wasn't bad enough." Thrust groaned.

**-Decepticon HQ a few hours later-**

The new nickname had spread like wildfire around the base. Wherever they went, they heard things like:

"'Sup B-Team?"

"Hey, B-Team, how much energy'd you spill?"

"Woah, stay clear of the B-Team; They're uncool!"

"B-Team, huh? Fits you."

"Coneheads: Inferior. Soundwave: Superior. Coneheads: B-Team."

"B-Team! B-Team! Sucks to be you!"

"Yo, guys! It's the B-Team come for a visit!"

Thrust got tired of it.

"We. Are. Not. The. B-Team!" he yelled at the entire base. It didn't help. They were soon the most popular trio around. The favorite pastime was to make fun of them and play pranks.

Dirge walked right into his door after some artistically talented bot had painted it like the inside of his room, effectively tricking him into thinking it was open. As he rubbed his cone-shaped head, Dirge heard catcalls and jeers of 'B-Team' from the small group of Decepticons who had gathered in the hall.

"The universe is coming to an end!" he moaned.

Thrust drank over six gallons of crude oil that had been mixed in with his energon. He disappeared into the wash-rooms for a solid hour.

Ramjet woke up from recharge to find himself painted all over with Earthen peace signs, hearts, and flowers.

Finally, Thrust called his fellow Coneheads together.

"Guys," he said, "I currently see no way out of our present predicament. We'll just have to deal with it. But we can have a bit of revenge on the glitch who started it all."

"What?! What?!"

Thrust smiled wickedly.

"We tell Megatron that his second in command is an avid fan of the Telleubbies."

The B-Team then all broke out into long, loud peals of malicious laughter. Sure it was a lie, but Megatron would probably buy it. Revenge would be sweet.

* * *

Aahhhhhh...This has taken for-ev-er to get up, but I've finally done it. Sad thing is, I had it all written and polished to perfection on here, but the moment I hit save, that was when I noticed that I wasn't connected to the internet... I hope that you've enjoyed this little piece!


End file.
